June 05, 2014

That moment when I had a moment

Oh, Hi.
Remember me?  I'm the gal who started this ol' blog with the intent of documenting the moments in my family's lives, venting about those memorable moments and, well, crap..........life has just gotten in the way.

Is blogging a dying breed?
Are people just using facebook/instagram/twitter now?  Fill me in so I can keep up with the cool peeps.

Today as I sat here on the computer registering my kids for summer camp, something led me back here.  Maybe that means I am not ready to close this thing down.  Maybe I still have stuff to say.

Deep thoughts.......
Random thoughts.....

Who knows?

First lets talk about me.
HA
God, I am funny.

I have a freckle/mole thing on my body that I had to get checked out.
P.S.  Whenever I say "mole" I think of this scene.

On the way to see my doc I had a moment.
A moment that made me think about how things can change in a second.
I mean, if this "moley moley moley" turns out to be something not so great, my life will change instantly.  If it's nothing, that's frickin awesome, but I need to smarten my ass up.
Life is too short to sweat the small stuff all of the time.

I mean, holy crap.  I am 39 years old.  My children are healthy, happy and thriving.  They are growing more independent by the day and before I know it, they will be packing their bags and heading out into the real world.

I need to snap out of my "holyshitmykidsarelazy" mood and breathe in this time.

That was my moment.

And then I came home and Febreze-d their stinky shoes without cursing once.

May 12, 2014

Yo.

Dude, I am still alive.
Fo realz.
I am alive as in breathing alive, not climbing up a mountain singing "hallelujah" alive, but whatever.

Basically, I am existing.
Don't say "aw" and "you poor thing", because, honestly, I think existing is friggin awesome right now.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my life as a mother is changing.
My children have all entered into different phases of their lives and now Mommy has to catch up and just deal with it.
They don't need me as much.
They don't like me very much.
In fact, there are many times they hate me.
And instead of doing the ugly cry in the corner, I am learning (slowly) to just suck it up.

But fuck it is hard.

To all of you peeps who have infants and toddlers, enjoy every second, because when they get to their tween years it is a whole new game.
Its a shitty game where the rules change constantly and you have to find a way to stay ahead of your independent, stubborn, smart opponents (aka your children) before they kick your ass.
Shes not a tween yet, but acts like one

While dealing with this new change, I am also realizing that I have lost myself.
My life has been lived for my babies over the last 12 years and now (at times) they hate me and...well....that's hard for me because theyaremylife.
In my mind I am thinking......
"I have done everything for them and they don't even appreciate it?
Have I screwed up as a parent because they still hate me after all I do for them?
Is it hormones?
Am I a wimp?
I need to get a life."
But then I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them anyways and pray to God that they grow up healthy and happy because their parents adore them
Its a never ending battle in my head, which is probably why I'm a mental mess.

So where does that leave blogging?
I mean, its rare that I can take a photo of my kids without them covering their faces or running the other way.
I could write about all the reasons they hate me today or what caused the fist fight at 7am, but that might get boring......or not.....
I could write about all of the pretty crafts I make and house redecorating I do, but.....hahahahahahahaha......it doesn't happen.
I have irritable bowel syndrome that makes eating anything other than applesauce a huge pain in my ass....literally.

Stay tuned.
Maybe soon I will write about shit my big kids are doing.
Or Ike and Duke the horses and Jersey the dog.

Or poop soup, because that's one of my favourite topics.

What's new with you?

April 10, 2014

Reflection

Lately......

My reflection shows a face full of stress....
....worry....
...depression...
...irritable bowel syndrome...whatever the eff that is.......
...unknown wants....
...and needs.

My reflection shows alot of zits....
....random hairs that are showing up where they shouldn't....
....and wrinkles that show up more when I wear makeup to hide my zits.

My reflection needs to change.
I'm working on it.

Be back {very} soon.
hugsandsmooches