First of all, let me give all of you a huge cyber hug and fist bump. Your many comments and well wishes after my last blog post touched my hurt, scarred, fragile heart.
Secondly, let me say that I am good. Despite the fact that my entire world is completely different than it was 2 years ago, I am totally OK with it. Like more than OK.
Watching my daddy slowly decline in health and then losing him almost 4 years ago (at a young age) changed me.
Losing a parent does that to you.
It messes you up.
It teaches you things.
It makes you realize that life is too fucking short to live unhappily.
I curse alot. Prepare yourselves.
Have you ever just sat back and thought about how short this life really is? Like really. The smell of my high school hallways is still in my brain. I still know all of the words to songs I sang in the 80's. I feel like college graduation was recently. But, in less than 10 years I will be 50 years old.
Have you ever sat back and thought about your life? Is it fun? Is it exciting? Are you happy? Do you do things that make you smile? Do you feel like you have accomplished much? Do you love? Are you loved? Are you truly yourself or pretending to be someone else to make others happy?
Because, before you know it, this life will be over and it would suck balls if you have regrets and feel you wasted it, don't you think?
Losing my dad opened my eyes to alot, but, mostly that I was not living the life I wanted. I was not the person I wanted to be. I was not loved the way I wanted to be loved. I was not loving the way I wanted to love. I was not having fun.
When others would ask what made me happy, I couldn't answer them, because I had no idea.
Sad, isn't it?
Getting my eyebrows done
Cranking my tunes on the way to work
Long conversations with people who truly care for me
Drinking wine in a fancy glass
Staying in my PJ's all day while eating cookies and Kool Aid.
Spending 2 hours sweating at the gym
Drinking out of the full pitcher from the fridge
Long hikes in new places with people I care for
Positive comments at work
Owning a non-shedding dog
Who wants to go on a vacation to celebrate this short but enjoyable life??!!!!!!!!!